Retrograde
by waitingforyouonce
Summary: Loosely based on The Vow. A happily married Bonnie & Stefan are enjoying their life together until a car accident erases her memories of the last eight years.
1. Chapter 1

Bonnie moans as Stefan starts to nip and kiss his way down her body, His tongue dipping into her belly button. He pulls back and she groans in frustration. She frowns when sits on his knees in all his naked glory, refusing to make a move. "Why'd you stop?"

"You said you had to go. I was just doing what you wanted." He grins smugly at her as he mimics her earlier words. He ignores his throbbing erection for the moment in hopes of getting her more riled up. The look in her eyes tells him it worked.

"Smart ass," She growls before pushing him onto his back and sinking down on him.

Stefan gasps and lets out a satisfied groan before moving his heads in hopes that she'll start moving. His gaze grows hotter as he watches her breasts jiggle above him. He wastes no time reaching up to hold them. So soft.

Ring!

"Don't answer it." Stefan growls at the sound of Bonnie's phone ringing.

Ring!

"I have to, it's probably Elena" She says rolls off of him and crawls to the head of the bed to pluck her phone off the nightstand. "Hello?" She pauses as Elena's familiar voice fills her ear.

Stefan frowns at the interruption until he realizes this leaves her on all fours as she talks to the brunette vampire. He grins deviously before maneuvering behind her, grabbing her by the hips and thrusting inside of her.

Bonnie bites her lip to keep the moan from spilling out of her. "I was just on my way to meet your for our girl's night." She tries to keep her voice calm, not wanting her best friend to know what she and Stefan are doing. "We're meeting at the new bar, right?" She grits her teeth as Stefan continues to move inside of her. Every so often, he presses kisses to the back of her neck and shoulders.

"Yeah, the one on Third Street…so are we really going to pretend you aren't in bed with Stefan right now?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Bonnie denies even as Stefan nips at her ear.

"Are you forgetting that I have vampire hearing? That means I can hear everything that's going on." Elena laughs when Bonnie lets out another gasp. "Aside from that, you two can barely keep your hands off of each other most of the time. Which reminds me…" She pauses for effect. "…Bon, you've been married for more than a year now. Don't you think it's time you got out of the 'we can't keep our hands off each other' phase?"

It's clear by Elena's tone that she's more amused than anything else which is why Bonnie has no problems turning it around on her."Like you and Damon are any better."

"You have a point, but even we can't keep up with you two." Elena admits with a laugh before changing the subject. "So when should I expect you?"

"I'll be there in fifteen…make that twenty minutes." She adds when Stefan pinches her nipples. "Bye, Lena."

"Bye, Bonnie. Goodbye Stefan!" She says knowing the vampire can hear her.

The moment Bonnie hangs up she starts to move her hips backward, grinding into Stefan's thrusts. He watches his cock move in and out of her for a few moments before speeding up his pace. He pounds into her from behind, moving his hips back and forth. The sound of wet skin slapping together, joins the sound of their grunts and moans. It won't take much more before he comes.

Which is why at one point he reaches around her hip and slips his hand between her thighs to stroke her clit in hopes that she comes before him. It works and she stiffens not long after, coming hard around him. He thrusts into her until he too explodes, jerking hard inside of her.

-X-

Twenty minutes later, Stefan watches from their bed as Bonnie gets dressed. She even manages to make that look incredibly sexy. From the way she slips her jeans on to the way she pulls on her shirt. Even the way she slips her boots on sets him off. If he had his way, he'd be taking them off of her right now. Maybe he can convince her to stay.

Without giving her a chance to protest, he pulls her into his lap and kisses her. She responds, kissing him back just as passionately before coming to her senses and pulls away. Bonnie tries to climb off his lap, but his grip around her waist makes difficult.

"Stef? Do you think you can do me a favor and let go of my waist?"

"I don't want to." He nuzzles her neck. "I think you should stay here."

"You know I can't… I have to get up."

"I'm already up." He grinds his erection into her hips.

"Down boy." She kisses him soundly on the lips before pulling his arms away from her. "I'll be back in no time and then you can have me all to yourself." She climbs off his lap and quickly picks up her keys and purse before rushing out of the door.

Stefan starts to climb out of the bed himself only to be surprised when Bonnie pops her head back in. "Did you forget something?" He looks around the room trying to figure out what she may have lost.

"Yeah I forgot to tell you I love you." She gives him a wide grin.

Not for the first time, Stefan feels bowled over by her smile. It doesn't matter how often she smiles at him, he'll never get used to it.

"I love you, more." Stefan replies with a smile of his own and then she's off again. This time hears her go down the stairs and hears the sound of her boots clicking as she makes across the room before he hears their front door open and close. He waits a few beats before he picks his boxers off the floor and tries to figure what to do to pass the time while she's gone.

He thinks about reading one of his books before deciding against it. He smiles as an idea comes to him; cooking. He loves to cook and Bonnie loves to eat his food, especially after one of her girls' nights. By the time he's finished with everything, Bonnie will be back home and happily enjoying his creations.

**3 Hours Later**

Stefan bursts through the doors of the emergency room, frantically glancing around until he sees Elena pacing in front of a row of chairs. He makes a beeline for the brunette."Where is she?"

Elena looks at him with teary eyes, her voice soft but steady."They're looking her over. She was still unconscious when they brought her in."

"What happened?"

"We were leaving the bar to go home when her car was sideswiped by a pickup truck. I was about a mile away when I heard the crash. I sped over to her, but she was unconscious by the time I reached her. I gave her my blood to heal her injuries, but that didn't really help with the head injury."

"Is…is she okay?" Stefan asks quietly, his voice cracking.

"I'm not sure Stefan, they won't really tell me much of anything because I'm not technically family. I told them you were on your way."

Stefan barely hears the last bit of her sentence as he approaches the front desk.

"May I help you sir?" The receptionist looks up at the distressed man in front of her.

"My wife was brought in here. I want to see her."

"Okay…what's your wife's name?"

"Bonnie Bennett."

The receptionist types in the information and quickly finds Bonnie's information. "She's in room 413." She glances up at the man.

Stefan nods gratefully and wastes no time heading for the room.

He feels both relief and worry when he first sees in her in her hospital bed. Relief that she's still here, but worry that Elena's blood didn't cure her head injury. Seeing her this way

He takes a seat in the chair next to the bed and reaches out for her hand, his eyes never leaving her frame.

-X-

When Bonnie finally wakes up she realizes she has a pounding headache. At first she thinks that she's hung over, but when she looks around the room she realizes she's in a hospital. The spell she was doing to kill Klaus must have gone wrong. Not surprising since it was fairly dangerous spell. What does surprise is seeing Stefan at her bedside, his hand on top of hers. Even more interesting is that based on how rumpled his clothes are, he's been here for a while.

"Hey." He smiles at her when her eyes meet his. "How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts, but I'm feeling okay. What happened?"

"A truck hit your car when you were leaving your girls night with Elena. You've been unconscious ever since until now. You scared the hell out of me." Stefan says quietly, his voice and eyes full of emotion. The thought of losing her is something he knows he could never handle. It would easily end him.

Bonnie's brow furrows at the emotional look in his eyes. He's never looked at her that way before in all the time she's known him. That must mean something happened to Elena as well and he's still affected by it. He probably got stuck with her instead of being by Elena's side. She decides to give him an out. "Thank you for sitting with me, but I know you're probably eager to get back to Elena so I won't keep you."

"Why would I do that?" He looks at her in confusion. Why would she think he'd want to be anywhere except by her side? And why would she think he'd rather be with Elena?

"Because she's the love of your life and I'm sure you're worried about her" She looks at him as though he's crazy, wondering why he's acting like Elena's not the most important person in his life.

Stefan feels his gut clench at her words, terrified by what they could mean. He's just about to ask when the door opens and the doctor walks in. Worried he quickly makes his way over to the tall woman and quietly explains what just happened with Bonnie.

"Why do I feel like I'm missing something?"Bonnie watches as Stefan and the doctor talk quietly to each other. For a brief second she worries that something happened to Elena, but remembers that Stefan had seemed relieved until a few seconds ago. They eventually stop talking and both approach the bed.

"I'm Dr. Hanson. I'm just going to ask you a few questions. Is that okay?"

Bonnie nods and sits up slightly. Dr. Hanson takes that as her cue to begin.

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Bonnie Bennett."

"Okay. And the year?"

"2011."

Stefan frowns and his heart drops to his stomach, his breaths grow heavy despite not needing to breathe, and his hands start to tremble. She really doesn't remember their relationship.

"What's going on?" Bonnie picks up on Stefan's distress and the doctor's worry immediately.

"It seems your memories of the last eight years are missing because it's actually 2019." Dr Hanson explains. "Apparently when you hit your head, it caused a case of retrograde amnesia."

Bonnie eyes widen and she lets out a gasp, overwhelmed by the news. The last thing she remembers is working with Damon to try and kill Klaus. So to be told that happened eight years ago is surprising to say the least.

"So what happens now? Will her memory come back?" Stefan asks after a while.

Bonnie is grateful that he thought to ask the question.

"Head head injuries can be hard to predict. It's possible your memories could come back, tomorrow, later in the week, a month from now, or even longer." She pauses for a brief second. "There is also the possibility of your memories not returning at all."

Dr. Hanson goes on to explain the different ways they can help to trigger her memories. Such as looking through old photos or going through her things in hopes that they spark something. After she's done, she tells Bonnie that they'll be keeping her for the rest of the night for observation, but she'll be able to go home sometime in the morning. "I'll leave you two alone." She looks sympathetically at Stefan before leaving the room.

Once they are alone, Stefan approaches the bed again and takes the seat he sat in earlier. "How are you feeling? I imagine that all of this is very overwhelming."

"It is." She agrees before lifting up her hand. "So I guess that means these rings are real." She points at diamond ring and wedding band on her left finger. When she first woke up and saw the rings, she assumed they had been some kind of joke, but now it's clear they are very real. "So is Jeremy out of town or something?"

"Why are you asking about Jeremy?"

"He's the one I married, right?" She remembers how happy she was with him; she can't imagine them not ending up together. She sees the frown on his face and wonders why he looks so sad.

"No." He shakes his head. "You didn't marry Jeremy…" He pauses bracing himself for her reaction. He has feeling it won't be good. "…you married me. I'm your husband."

Stefan holds up his left hand and she sees a platinum wedding band that matches the one she has on her finger.

"No! I can't be married to you. I wouldn't do that to Elena." She shakes her head in denial, despite knowing what he says his true. She feels burst of distress at the thought of betraying Elena by being with the man she loves.

"Elena and I ended things for good seven years ago. My past with her has nothing to do with our relationship."

"I'm sorry I just can't believe I'd go there with you. I saw how much she loved you. I would never do that to my best friend." She pauses as a horrible thought occurs to her. "Unless we're not as close anymore?" Her eyes fill with tears at the thought of hurting Elena.

"No you're still close." He tries to reassure her by reaching out to squeeze her hand, but Bonnie flinches at his approach and he pulls back. It hurts him deeply not to be able to comfort her, but he tries to hide it. He clears his throat and stands up. "She's in the waiting room worried sick about you. I'll go get her for you." Maybe seeing Elena will help ease her distress. It's obvious he's only causing it at the moment.

"Thank you, Stefan."

Stefan nods before he leaves, hating that the love he usually sees in her eyes is no longer there.

When he gets to the waiting room, he's not surprised to see Damon sitting with Elena, his arm wrapped around her shoulder.

Damon sees his brother approach and immediately knows something's wrong. He pulls his arm away from Elena and clears his throat, drawing Elena's attention. They both stand up as he gets closer, waiting anxiously for him to reveal Bonnie's face.

"How is she?" Damon is the one to ask, he had been shocked when Elena called him and told him about Bonnie's accident and wasted no time rushing to hospital. That had been hours ago.

Stefan glances at the dark-haired couple and lets out a long sigh. It's going to be hard to tell them this. Over the years, they've become their only little family and they care about Bonnie just like he does.

"She's fine physically, but she doesn't remember the last eight years." He hears Elena's gasp, but continues knowing he'll start crying or something if he stops. "The doctor said it was retrograde amnesia. She knows who she is and who all of us are, but anything after 2011 is erased from her mind."  
He glances at Elena. "She's asking for you, she's in room 413."

"Okay." She pats Stefan on the arm as before she starts heading to Bonnie's hospital room.

"Wait, I'll go with you." Damon moves closer to her, sensing that Stefan needs some time alone.

"Do you think that's a good idea? I mean if this is 2011 Bonnie that means we're dealing with the Bonnie that hated your guts for the most part."

"I don't know I actually kind of miss her blatant dislike of me." He jokes, managing to pull a smile of her. He and Bonnie still have arguments from time to time, but it's much different than it had been eight years ago. It will be weird to go back to that. "You never know maybe her past dislike for me will trigger something."

"If you say so." Elena nods and heads for the elevator.

Damon starts to follow her, but turns to face Stefan one more time. "Everything is going to be alright. She's going to remember." He slaps his shoulder before following after his girlfriend.

The moment they are gone, Stefan takes a seat in one of the chairs and places his head in his hands. How could everything change so quickly? Hours ago he'd been with the love of his life in their bed and now she doesn't remember ever being with him.

He's not sure how to handle this.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - I know it's been a while since I last updated, but I haven't been feeling well the last few weeks. I wouldn't say I'm completely better, but I have felt well enough to finish the second chapter. I'm still working on my other stories and I have some new stuff I that I post as well at some point.**

* * *

Elena frowns when she steps into the room and gets a glimpse of Bonnie in her hospital bed. Bonnie is glancing out of the window, clearly lost in thought. Even without sharing a word she can tell something's different about her best friend. It's in the way Bonnie is holding herself. She's gotten so used to the Bonnie that is completely sure of herself, a woman that is confident even while she's relaxing that it's a bit jarring to be face to face with a younger version of her that is definitely not in that place yet.

Clearing her head of those particular thoughts, she takes another step and is not surprised when Bonnie immediately looks her way.

"Hey, how are you?"

"Elena, I'm so happy to see you!" She smiles at the sight of her best friend only to frown when she realizes that something fundamental about Elena has been changed drastically.

"What's wrong, Bonnie?" Elena stops her plan to hug the witch when she sees the look on her face.

"You're a vampire?" Bonnie gapes at the brunette in shock. That had been last thing she had been expecting. Of course it's not as surprising as finding out she and Stefan got married, but still surprising nonetheless.

Elena relaxes when she realizes what has Bonnie so tense. She's been a vampire long enough now that she sometimes forgets that there was a time when she was completely human. "Yeah," She nods. "There was a car accident. Luckily I had Damon's blood in my system or I wouldn't be here right now." She pauses when she remembers how difficult it had been for her to deal with Caroline being turned as well as how much her friend sacrificed when they had been trying to reverse her own vampirism. "Are you okay, Bonnie? I know you had trouble dealing with this before so if you want me to leave…"

"No, I don't want you to leave." She shakes her head. Despite this new information, Elena presence is the only thing that makes any sense to her right now. "I'm just surprised. We were working hard to prevent this from happening. It just a little disheartening to find out we failed."

"It wasn't easy, but I found my way after some time and I'm happy with my life now." Elena frowns sadly when she realizes that they are getting into old habit of focusing on Elena instead of Bonnie. Eight years ago neither of them would have given any thought to how lopsided their friendship was, but after everything they went through they managed to work through those negative aspects to become better friends.

Obviously with Bonnie's memory gone, that particular habit has come back with a vengeance. That doesn't mean Elena has to let it go on so she clears her throat and makes a point of changing the subject back to Bonnie. "Enough about me, how are you doing?" She sits down in the chair next to the bed.

"My head hurts, but I'm okay. Not counting the fact that I can't remember the last eight years of my life, of course." She sighs and turns toward Elena. "I'm really sorry about Stefan. I know how much you love him."

"Bonnie, you have nothing to be sorry about. Things between me and Stefan were over years ago. It took some time, but we've managed to become friends. Besides I'm with Damon now.

Bonnie's eyes widen in shock, though if she's completely honest it's not an entire surprise. She could tell that Damon was falling for her best friend and that he was working his way into her heart. Still she figured that Stefan and Elena would make it in the end. Apparently that hadn't been the case and it leaves Bonnie wondering if the reason she and Stefan ended up together was because Elena was unavailable. Before she has a chance to ponder those thoughts, the door opens and in walks Damon.

"Witchy." He smiles at her and she's surprised to see genuine look of concern for her in his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Bonnie asks instantly suspicious of his motives. The last time she saw him he'd been demanding she work on a spell. So she finds it hard to believe that he could actually be concerned for her.

"I came to check up on you."

"Why?"

"You're married to my brother that makes us family." He shrugs, suppressing a grin when he sees the annoyed look on her face. He had been tempted to bring up their friendship, but he knows that there is no way in hell she would believe him right now.

"My lucky day." She says sarcastically. "So there's no hope that you ever leave me alone?"

"No I still live to annoy you." He grins before growing serious. "I'm happy that you're okay, Bonnie." His heart dropped when Elena called to tell him about her accident. So he's relieved to find she's still up and about even if it's a version of her that isn't too fond of him.

Bonnie is surprised by the sincerity in his voice and gaze, wondering if things have really changed that much before ultimately assuming it's because Elena is around. No way does Damon actually care about her wellbeing beyond what she can do for him.

After years of experience, Damon can always tell when Elena and Bonnie want him to leave the room. So he clears before making an excuse to leave. "I need to check on Stefan so I will leave you two ladies alone."

Bonnie watches him go still thrown by his behavior. Once the door shuts, she turns back to look at Elena. "So you and Damon?"

"It's kind of a long story."

"Well I obviously have some time." Bonnie jokes and she listens as Elena explains what's been going on the last eight years.

-X-

Later that night, Stefan is in the bedroom of the home he and Bonnie share and he couldn't be more miserable. It just doesn't feel right to be here without Bonnie. Every step you could associate with getting the house had been done together. They found the place together, bought it together, decorated it together. There is no part of the 2 bedroom loft that doesn't remind him of Bonnie.

Although he would have preferred to stay at the hospital with bonnie, visiting hours were over and he could tell that Bonnie would have been uncomfortable with him sneaking back in later on. Instead he glances around the large bedroom, taking in the rumpled bed that they were just in, the night stand that has their wedding picture on it, a pair of Bonnie's high heels thrown haphazardly in the corner, along with a few other clothes. They hadn't gotten around to picking the stuff up yet.

His eyes move to his white dress shirt that is draped on one of the oversized armchairs and he quickly picks up it up. It smells like Bonnie. It's hard to believe that she was wearing this the night before. They had just gotten home from Abby's engagement party and naturally they both made a point of changing into something more comfortable...

_Stefan heads upstairs in a pair of grey sweats and white sleeveless shirt; a copy of F. Scott Fitzgerald's _The Beautiful and Damned _in his hand. "Bonnie?" He stops in the hallway using his vampire senses to figure out if she's in their bedroom or her office. Once he realizes that she's in the bedroom he heads that way and immediately spots Bonnie standing in the middle of the room wearing one of his white dress shirts._

_She looks amazing. Her hair flow down her back, loose from the updo hairstyle for the engagement party, her face is free of makeup, but she's no less beautiful. The sleeves are rolled up her arms so she can move freely and the bottom of the shirt hits her thighs. He knows without checking that Bonnie is naked underneath. Normally the sight of Bonnie only wearing his shirt would make him want to have his way with her, but right now he's just in awe of her._

_"Why are you looking at me like that?" Bonnie asks after awhile._

_"Like what?" He asks in confusion._

_"In that way that way that usually makes me feel like I'm miracle to you," she says as she plays with the collar of her shirt. _

_"How is that different than how I usually look at you?"He chuckles and Bonnie rolls her eyes. "To answer your question… I guess seeing you in my shirt reminded me that we have this life together. I never thought I would have that kind of thing and it makes so happy. Do you know what I mean?"_

_"I do know. We've come a long way," Bonnie smiles before jumping into his arms, her arms immediately wrapping around his neck while her legs wrap around his waist. _

_Stefan holds her against him, sighing happily when she presses a kiss to his lips before carrying her over to the large armchair across the room and sitting down. _

_Bonnie shifts on his lap until she gets in a comfortable position. It's then that she notices the book in his hand. "I know you're almost 200, but there is a thing called a kindle where you could keep hundreds of books at one time instead of having to search through your many books." She smirks as she thinks about the thousands of books stored in their loft.  
_

_ He grins and nuzzles her neck, making a point of nipping her neck with his teeth."I know, but I prefer sticking with the classics. There's nothing like the feel of a good book underneath your fingers. You can't get that with a kindle and you obviously agree to an extent since you still refuse to transfer your spells from your grimoire."_

_"You're right. I feel connected to my grams and my other ancestors whenever I look through it grimoire. Going digital just wouldn't feel right." She admits as she strokes the tattoo on his arm. "Speaking of which," She glances across the room, her eyes falling on the grimoires piled on the bed. "I need to research this spell if I want to help the client coming tomorrow morning._

_Bonnie starts to get up, but Stefan grabs her wrist and pulls her in for another kiss. They kiss for a few more moments before he stands up and carries her the short distance to the bed. "I'll keep you company. I'll read and you work your magic." He says quietly as he places her on the bed and climbs in next to her._

_"Okay," she smiles and soon the only sounds that can be heard are the turning of pages._

...Stefan comes out of the memory and puts the shirt back, trying his hardest not to let any tears fall. He suddenly feels drained. He glances at the empty bed that he shares with Bonnie and he knows there is no way he'll be able to sleep in it without her.

So he changes his clothes and takes a pillow off the bed before heading to the linen closet. There he finds a clean blanket and quickly goes downstairs to the living room. He places both items on the couch and lays down. Not the most comfortable place to sleep, but it will be his bed until Bonnie comes home for good.

* * *

Two weeks pass and Bonnie finds out that a lot has changed over the years. If she thought finding out that Elena is now vampire was shocking, finding out that she's now an immortal witch was even more a surprise. As is with what happened to her friends. She had nearly choked on her tea when Elena told her that Caroline is married to Klaus of all people and living in New Orleans while Matt is traveling the world with Rebekah, Klaus' sister. Tyler is somewhere in New York where he formed his own pack and now married with children. When she asked about Jeremy, Elena would only tell her that Jeremy was out of town. Somehow she has the feeling that there's more to it than that, but she decides not to press it.

Still the most shocking news had been finding out that she is in contact with the mother who abandoned her and even worse, that her father is dead. Both are hard to deal with so she decides not to think about it, choosing to focus on what her future self has been up to the last eight years of her life. She finds out that she is a very successful magical private investigator that gets paid to fix problems in the supernatural community. It shocks her somewhat since she remembers having grown tired of using magic to serve others, but apparently she got over that particular hang up. She supposes that the money she receives for it helps as well.

The one thing she decides not to dive into is her marriage to Stefan. She's been avoiding him, dodging his calls, and she hasn't even stepped foot in the loft they apparently share. She didn't feel comfortable staying in a place she doesn't remember nor had she wanted to stay at the boardinghouse with Elena and Damon. Instead she opted to stay in her childhood home. Granted much like everything else, it looks a lot different. Probably because her future self mostly uses it as an office for her business, but she still feels the most comfortable here.

Elena had made a point of staying with her so she wouldn't be alone, but she eventually forced her to go home. She had done so partly because she wanted some time alone to deal with everything, but also because it gave her reprieve of Elena bringing up Stefan.

At the thought of Stefan, her eyes fall on the picture sitting on the desk in her office. She and Stefan are dressed up in formal attire at what looks to be a black tie ball if the black ballgown she's wearing and Stefan's tux any indication. The woman in the picture seems happy, so does Stefan for that matter.

She feels a little guilty for avoiding him the last couple of weeks, but even though Elena is apparently in a committed relationship with Damon, she still can't help but feel that something's not right. She won't pretend that wasn't attracted to him all those years ago because she definitely was. Even now after a decade has apparently passed she can recognize how hot he is, but it also seemed clear all those years ago that like most guys, Stefan fell under Elena's spell and that no one would ever break it. Caroline she could see him taking a genuine interest in, but Bonnie finds it hard to believe that she of all people managed to capture Stefan's heart.

She is interrupted from her thoughts when her doorbell rings. Surprised, Bonnie heads for the door and pulls it open, her mouth gaping when she sees Jeremy at the threshold. His hair is shorter and he's more muscular than he had been in her last memories of him, but he looks good. Not as good as Stefan does, but good none the less.

"Hi, Bon." Jeremy grins at her before pulling her into a hug.

"Elena said you were out of town." She hugs him tighter, happy to see him.

"I was but I when she told me what happened to you I had to come see you." He wanted to return to Mystic Falls the moment Elena called him, but he had some business to take care of. He did however rush here the moment he was finished. They pull back from the hug and his gaze trails over Bonnie."So how are you?"

-X-

An hour later, Bonnie is happy to find that Jeremy is just like she remembers. He's the same caring guy that she had been in love with, so much so that she can't understand why they didn't end up together. Why would she pick Stefan who has Elena baggage when Jeremy was here? Once again she feels that something isn't right about the situation and she decides to ask him. She would have asked Elena about him, but when Stefan would Elena has always been willing to overlook Stefan and Damon's misdeeds so it wouldn't surprise her if she was playing them down now. She knows Jeremy would never do that.

"You look like you have something on your mind," Says as he moves closer to Bonnie on the couch.

"Why did we break up?"

"We were young, not ready for a huge commitment. We agreed to take a break, but somehow you ended up married to Stefan." He knows he's not being completely honest about their relationship, but he's enjoying the Bonnie that hadn't been hurt by him. He knows if he tells her about Anna and the other stuff that happened that lead to Bonnie ending things for good that look will change.

"I just can't imagine him loving anyone other than Elena. Tell me the truth; is he still in love with her?" If anyone knows for sure about Stefan's feelings and will actually be honest, it would be Jeremy.

Jeremy stays quiet at first trying to figure how to answer. He could be honest and tell her that Stefan is completely devoted to her, but as he sits here with the Bonnie that had been love with, he hesitates. It's no secret to anyone that he's still in love with Bonnie. He's tried several times – even after Bonnie married Stefan– to win her back, but she's always made it clear he didn't have a chance. But now that her memories of the last eight years are gone, he has a second chance to get the woman he loves.

So instead of being honest he decides to fit the situation to his advantage. "You're right; he never has gotten over her, never stopped trying to get her attention. You guys started hooking up after our breakup. I think he gravitated towards you because he thought it would be the best way to hurt Elena."

Bonnie's heart sinks at Jeremy's reveal. Though she knew Stefan actually being interested in her was a long shot, part of her had been hoping that the vampire had loved her as much Elena had said. "I get why he would go after me, but why would I even go for it. I love Elena way too much to want to hurt her."

"Bonnie, there are some things are some things you need to know about Stefan and the horrible things he's done." A small part of him feels guilty for blatantly manipulating the situation , but the part of him that wants Bonnie back believes that if he wants herback, he has to do whatever it takes even if it means lying.

* * *

**Later that Night…**

While a lot of things have changed in eight years, one thing that hasn't changed is the town's need to have a formal event. Which is how Bonnie ends up being Jeremy's date for a charity ball that is being held by the mayor. It's not much different from the balls she's attended in the past, except it feels more adult than those had. She stiffens suddenly when she feels a shiver go down her back and her body becomes aware of another presence. The last time she like this had been two weeks ago when she was finally released from the hospital and Stefan walked in the room with some clothes for her to wear. That means he must be here somewhere…

Elena and Damon walk into the ballroom arm in arm with a reluctant Stefan trailing behind them. He hadn't wanted to attend the ball, but since he's one of the donors his presence had been required. Still the last thing he wants to do is spend the night with a group of people he couldn't care less about. His night only gets worse when he sees Jeremy with Bonnie.

Immediately he feels like he's been stabbed through the heart with a stake. It's no secret that he and Jeremy don't get along. It's been that way since he and Bonnie started dating, but he's never felt the need to worry about the younger Gilbert, knowing that Bonnie's heart is with him. But now with Bonnie's memories gone, he's afraid that Jeremy might have an edge.

Maybe it's his fault for giving her so much space over the last couple of weeks. Other than the day the she left the hospital, he hasn't seen much of her. Sure he's called her a lot, but Bonnie never answers his calls for the most part. It's gotten to the point where he's had to get updates from Elena on Bonnie's condition. She never said anything about Jeremy being back in town and he knows she would have warned him that Bonnie would be here with Jeremy, which means she must not have known.

Fuck.

The last thing he wanted to do was pressure Bonnie, but seeing her in that red strapless sweetheart dress she bought a few months ago for Klaus and Caroline's party while on another man's arm – a man that has made no secret of wanting her back– makes him think he should have.

His first instinct is to confront the asshole, but he knows Bonnie well enough to know a confrontation will only make her dig in her heels more. So instead he heads for the bar. If he's going to get through this night, he needs a drink.

As Stefan broods across the room, Elena lets go of Damon's arm and makes a beeline for Bonnie and Jeremy. She didn't even know her brother was back in town. She called him like she called all of their friends to let them know about Bonnie, but she didn't think he would be bold enough to return to Mystic Falls and try to reinsert himself into Bonnie's life. She lets out several breaths, hoping to calm down before she reaches them. It's understandable that Bonnie would cling to what she last remembers, but her brother should know better.

"Bonnie. Jeremy," she greets both of them, giving Jeremy a disapproving look before turning to Bonnie. "When we talked earlier you said you weren't up for coming to the ball; what changed?"

"I wasn't, but Jeremy talked me into it this afternoon and promised to be my guide for the night." Bonnie shrugs.

"I figured it would be good for her to get out of the house for awhile." Jeremy grins and rests his hand on Bonnie's shoulder.

Elena manages to hold back the anger that's rising within her and glances at Bonnie again. "Do you mind if I talk to my brother for a minute?"

"Sure. I need to check my makeup anyway." She smiles before making her way to the restroom.

"What the hell are you doing? You know Bonnie is in love with Stefan so why are you trying to mess up their marriage?" Elena hisses furiously the moment Bonnie's far enough away from them.

"She doesn't even remember being with him. He's not good enough for her, but I am. We never should have ended things and now that I have a chance to fix things I'm going to take it." He says very earnestly. Part of him is aware that what he's doing is not right, but he wants Bonnie too much to care.

Elena starts to respond, but stops when she sees Damon approaching; he has a look of murder in his eyes. Normally she would try to protect Jeremy from Damon's wrath, but instead she decides to leave him alone, knowing that her brother deserves whatever is coming to him.

Jeremy's brow furrows when Elena abruptly walks away from him, but when he turns around and sees Damon ten feet away, her abrupt departure makes sense. Before he has a chance to blink he's being grabbed by his collar and the next thing he knows he's in an empty hallway with an angry Damon glaring at him.

"Is there a reason you're looming over me?"

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Damon growls.

"I think what I'm doing is obvious. This is my second chance with Bonnie."

"Don't you mean fourth chance?" He snarls angrily. "And are you forgetting that Bonnie wants nothing to do with you?"

"The Bonnie with her memories intact wanted nothing to do with me. This version is quite happy to have something to do with me and I'm happy to give her what she wants." He grins only to gasp for air when Damon wraps his hand around his neck and squeezes.

"You won't be able to do much of anything if I snap your neck."

"You're not going to snap my neck. Elena and Bonnie would never forgive you." Jeremy manages to get out between gasps for air.

"Don't underestimate me. I could snap your neck and not feel guilty about it. Remember I've done so before." He squeezes harder and Jeremy starts to struggle.

"Let him go." Stefan's voice breaks in suddenly resulting in both men jolting in surprise.

"Stefan?" Damon turns to face his brother still holding Jeremy by the neck.

"Let him go." He reiterates slightly louder this time. It's not that he cares about the asshole, but he knows that if he or Damon react with violence, it will only make them look bad in Bonnie's eyes. Something he knows Jeremy is hoping will happen if his previous attempts at reconciliation are any indication.

Damon meets his brother's eyes and reads the look in them before abruptly letting go of Jeremy, not blinking when the younger man slides to the floor.

"Good decision." Jeremy stands up and smoothes the wrinkles out of his suit. "I would hate for Bonnie to find out that her distrust of you is very much warranted." He grins smugly, proving Stefan's earlier assessment correct. He walks off cockily, earning the glares of both brothers.

-X-

Halfway through the party, Elena decides to talk Bonnie into sharing a dance with Stefan. It's one of the few times Jeremy is off somewhere else. She has spent most of the party watching Stefan brood over Bonnie while Bonnie basically sticks to Jeremy's side.

"I want you to dance with Stefan."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because he's your husband and he's been alone all night while you spend all your time with your ex-boyfriend." Elena points out the obvious, her voice slightly frustrated.

Bonnie is perceptive enough to hear the censure in Elena's voice and is surprised to find she feels a little guilty. Still she says, "I can't help the fact that I'm more comfortable around Jeremy. The last thing I remember is us happy together while Stefan was completely enamored with you. It's not like I can just turn off how I feel."

"Well he's not enamored with me now and I think it's only fair that you do this one thing for him."

She frowns at Elena's words. From what Jeremy's said, she's done enough for Stefan to last a lifetime. "I don't know if that's such a good idea…"

She looks at Bonnie pleadingly, knowing it will get Bonnie to do what she wants. She hates to use Bonnie's old loyalty this way, but if it gets Bonnie and Stefan in the same vicinity then it's worth it.

"Okay, fine." She says despite the reservations she has. If she could tolerate Damon at his worst, then surely she can share a dance with Stefan. She lets out a sigh and makes the short journey to where Stefan is standing. She decides to ignore the fact that he looks amazing in his expensive suit.

He holds his hand out and she cautiously takes it, allowing him to pull her into his arms.

"I know it's a little late, but I just want to say you look breathtaking." His eyes take in the dark red dress that covers her body. He's seen her in before, but it still feels like seeing it for the first time.

"Thanks." She smiles at the compliment surprised by the warmth it gives her. The look in his eyes is not really sexual, though she can see some of that there as well. It's more like he's in awe of her and that's something she has never really felt before. When their eyes meet she's slightly surprised by his happy demeanor. "Why are you so happy, I thought you didn't like to dance?" She remembers Elena complaining about having to drag him out onto the dance floor.

"I like dancing with you. And even if I didn't, you love to dance so I would do it just to see you smile." He pulls her closer as the music continues.

The look in his eyes is so intense, she has to look away. She feels a flutter of warmth at his words. She's not used to hearing stuff like that. Still she has to remember what Jeremy told her earlier.  
She has to remember that as the Ripper, Stefan has the ability to be a manipulator that will do and say whatever it takes to get what he wants.

A shiver passes through her the moment she feels his hand makes contact with her back and she once again has to look away in order to get her thoughts together. Out of the corner of her eye she can see Damon and Elena dancing and it hits her that the reason he agreed to dance with her was to get in Elena's good graces. It's then that she decides it's time she confronted him with the truth. "I know why you doing this and I think it's disgusting." She pulls away from him, stopping their dance.

"What exactly am I doing?" Stefan looks at her in confusion, surprised by the sudden change in her mood. One second she seemed perfectly happy to dance with him, but now it's like she hates his guts.

"You're still upset about Elena and Damon. Jeremy told me that you never really got over her and how you've never really accepted their relationship. I can understand feeling the need to get back at her, but I just don't understand why I would agree to it."

Stefan frowns starting to wonder if giving Bonnie some space had been the best idea. Staying away had gone against his instincts, but he figured she would only resist if he were too insistent. Now he's wondering if him giving her space made it easier for Jeremy to make a move in his absence.

"I'm not sure what Jeremy told you I've been over Elena for years. By the time you and I got together Elena and I were in a place where we could actually be friends. Falling in love with you was a gradual thing and it had nothing to with my old feelings for Elena. And now I know that I will never love anyone as much as I love you."

"I just don't believe that. I saw how much you loved her. That kind of thing doesn't just go away." She just can't believe that someone would actually want her over Elena, especially someone that had been in as in love with her brunette best friend as Stefan. Add that onto what Jeremy told her, she knows he's not being honest with her.

"You're basing your opinion on stuff that happened eight years ago. I know you don't remember any of it, but it happened. I fell in love with you and you fell in love with me. Is it that unbelievable that we could connect that way?"

"You don't get it." She shakes her head in order to regain her resolve. "This is not just about your feelings for Elena; it's also about my parents." Stefan just looks at her in blankly. "I know what you did to my mother and my father."

A flood of guilt hits him when he remembers Abby being turned and the coin-toss incident. He still feels guilty about what happened even though Bonnie has since forgiven him. However he frowns at the mention of Rudy Hopkins. "What do you mean what I did to your father?"

"I know you were responsible for his death and hers, so I don't believe for one second that you love me." She hisses angrily causing Stefan to stop dancing.

"Bonnie I don't know what you've been told, but─" He starts only to be interrupted.

"You don't love me. You can't. The only person you've ever really given a damn about is Elena and maybe Damon, the rest of us were just along for the ride. I think it's time you admit that you're only pretending to love me because it keeps you closer to Elena and to ease your guilt for what you've done." She strokes the scar on her neck nervously as their eyes meet and is surprised when the gesture makes her feel a little better.

Hearing the love of his life not only deny his love for her, but to actually believe he'd do something so cruel to her is blow to his gut. It makes him want to find Jeremy and snap his neck. Which is why he decides it's best if he takes off for the night, but not before saying one last thing.

"Before I go I want you to remember that you're wearing my ring on your finger. Not his. " His gaze goes to her left hand before moving elsewhere. "I'm the one that you live with, the one that you confide in, the one that is there whenever you need me, the one that makes you laugh. I'm the man that knows that you tap your middle and ring fingers on the nearest flat surface whenever you're nervous and your index finger when you're bored. I'm the man that has kissed every square inch of your body," he glances at her lips before lowering his voice some. "I'm the man that you make love to almost every night... the man that is madly in love with you. So don't tell me that I don't or can't love you."

Bonnie is unable to stop the flood of heat from trailing throughout her body in reaction to his words.

He smiles a little when he realizes she's unconsciously stroking the scar on her neck. "And just so you know that scar you keep rubbing on your neck is where I claimed you."

"What does me touching a scar have to do with anything?" She's confused as to why he cares about a bite mark. She decides not to touch the fact that she apparently allowed him to bite her in first place.

"You usually do that when something's bothering you or you're feeling anxious. You told me it comforts you, calms you down." He had been touched when she revealed that little tidbit to him. "Looks like your body still remembers me even though your head doesn't," he's stopped from saying more when Jeremy approaches.

"I think you've hogged my date enough for tonight." Jeremy's entire demeanor is smug and grows smugger when Bonnie smiles warmly at him.

The urge to grab the bastard is great, but Stefan holds back. It would only make the lies that Jeremy told her seem true. Instead he says goodnight to Bonnie and heads for the exit. As he's leaving he can see Jeremy pull Bonnie into his arms for a dance and pain fills him. Stefan is halfway to the down the hallway that leads outside when he hears Damon call his name.

"Stefan, where are you going?"

"I'm going home. I need to get out of here." He says not bothering to turn around. Not that it matters because Damon flashes in front of him.

"So you're really going to let Jeremy get away with this? You're actually going to allow him jump in and take advantage of the situation? Take advantage of your wife?" He can't believe this is his brother, the same brother that once wore the moniker the Ripper like a badge.

"Can I really blame him? Of course he wants Bonnie to himself. If I were in his position I'd do the same thing. " Stefan lets out a resigned sigh.

"No you wouldn't." Damon shakes his head in protest. "Otherwise you would have let me snap that idiot's neck or you would have done it yourself. Instead you've been watching from afar as your wife fawns all over her ex. I don't why you're not acting like the vampire I know you are and claim your woman."

"Don't you think I want to be possessive?" Stefan's voice grows louder. "You think I don't want to carry her out of here on my shoulder? Of course I want to, but I also want what I've always wanted. Which is for her to be happy. I never want to be the cause of her unhappiness. So I'm trying to be patient with this and give her some space. "

"You have to know that leaving won't help you out with her. It's only giving that idiot a chance to dig his claws into her."

"You're probably right but I have to get out of here because I'm dangerously close to going back in there and ripping his head off. And we both know doing _that_ won't help me with Bonnie."

Damon lets out a sigh as he watches his younger brother speed away, his entire demeanor sad and dejected. Once out of his line of vision, Damon decides that it's up to him to intervene.

-X-

After several dances with Jeremy, Bonnie decides to get some air and excuses herself to the empty balcony. She is glancing out at the dark sky when she feels the presence of someone else.

"You know if the 2019 version of you could see you right now, she'd be ready to kick your ass for hurting Stefan this way."

Bonnie turns around at the sound of Damon's voice. "What are you doing out here?"

"I came to talk some sense into you." He sidles up next to her and stares out at the sky before facing Bonnie once again.

"You're not fooling anyone." Bonnie glares at him. "The only reason you want to help is because you want Elena to yourself and you know it may change things if me and Stefan are no longer together. I refuse to play that game and the fact that I let Stefan drag me into this in the first place is a complete mystery to me. "

"None of what you said is true and it's insulting for you to even imply that." Damon glares right back at her. "Stefan is not one to use the words 'I love you' lightly. So when he said them to you, they were exactly what he was feeling. As for the rest, I know I have Elena's heart and she has mine. But I'm not out here to talk about Elena."

"If you aren't out here because of Elena then why are you out here?"

"Believe or not, Bonnie. I'm here because I care about you."

"Really? In what world?" She looks at him, her disbelief obvious. The last memories she has of him include her trying to kill him and him demanding she help with whatever catastrophe had come up.

"There was a point a few years ago where we spent months trapped together with no one to talk to but each other. We became friends; good friends." He ignores the surprised look on her face. "Which is why I'm going to tell you the truth about what happened with Abby." He pauses for a brief second before continuing. "I was the one that turned her that day. So if you're going to hold it against anyone it should be me."

"That doesn't really surprise me, but Jeremy said that you were both involved."

"That is true. It was definitely something that we both decided, but I was the one to actually pull the trigger so to speak"

"Even if he wasn't the one to actually kill her, he planned on doing it and it still doesn't change the fact that you went about making the decision in the grossest way." She had been disgusted when Jeremy told her about the coin toss they used to decide her mother's fate.

"You're right, it was disgusting and it's something we both regret to this day. But you managed to forgive us and so has Abby." Abby's still a little uncomfortable around him, but the hostility that had once been there has faded away.

"Okay maybe that explains my mother, but it doesn't explain why he killed my father."

"Let me guess Baby Gilbert told you this?" He practically hisses, his mind already thinking of ways to crush the bastard.

"He said that my dad's trust in Stefan was what killed him." She confirms, wondering why Damon is getting so mad.

"I don't care what Stefan says, I'm going to knock that dumbass out the next time I see him." Damon swears under his breath before looking back at Bonnie. "Stefan had nothing to do with your father's death."

"Then what happened exactly?"

"Let's just say Elena's not the only one with a doppelganger." He goes on to explain Silas and Stefan's summer spent in that underwater safe while Silas pretended to be him. His voice is sad when he reveals that she saw the entire thing go down and had been unable to do anything about it.

Bonnie feels a flood of guilt flow through her after hearing what happened to Stefan. Has she been wrong about him all this time? "Why didn't he say anything when I mentioned it?"

"Because for some reason he blames himself for whatever his double did while he was gone. You've never held that against him, but what can I say? My brother has a penchant for feeling guilt over things he can't control." He gives Bonnie a meaningful look. "It's just one of the many things you have in common."

Bonnie looks away guiltily and they share a brief moment of silence before Damon continues speaking once again.

"Now I have a question." He waits for Bonnie to meet his eyes. "When Jeremy was airing out all of Stefan's supposed misdeeds, did he also happen to tell you the reason your relationship ended the first time?"

"Not really, but it couldn't have been all that bad." She just assumed it had been due to her being a year older than him. She imagines it would have been difficult to keep up their relationship when they were leading different lives.

"He cheated on you with Anna and you dumped him."

"But she's dead…how could he…?"

"Long story short, he died, you brought him back to life and it left him with the ability to see ghosts, hers included. He spent months talking to her and during an incident that allowed her to be corporeal made out with her. And do you know he wasn't even the one to tell you, Caroline was."

Unconsciously, Bonnie rubs the mark on her neck, distressed by what she has heard. Still she wants to give him the benefit of the doubt because loving Jeremy is the only thing that makes sense right now. "I must have forgiven him since he mentioned we eventually got back together."

"You did eventually, but you broke things off again because he was taking you for granted and it became clear that he wanted to see other girls." He remembers all too well the long stream of girls coming in and out of the boardinghouse not long after their final breakup.

"So isn't possible that Stefan was a rebound? That the reason me and Jeremy didn't get back together was because I felt too guilty to breakup with him?" She knows that she is grasping at straws at this point, but the idea that someone like Stefan could love someone like her is still unbelievable to her.

"I hate to break it to you, but you've long since gotten over the whole martyr thing you had going on that makes you stay in relationships you're not happy in," He smirks at her, knowing that that's exactly what she was doing with Jeremy for a while. "If you didn't want to be with Stefan, you wouldn't be with Stefan. You never got back together with Jeremy because you two weren't right for each other. You never were. And the fact that he chose to go after you when your memories are gone and lie about your relationship, should tell you how not right he is for you."

Well he has her there. "I –" She starts to respond only to be interrupted by Damon.

"Bonnie, I watched you fall in love with my brother and him fall in love with you, I got to see a different side of both you and I know for a fact you're both at your happiest when you're together. So maybe you should give Stefan a chance before you throw away one of the best things that has ever happened to you. " He looks at her pointedly before turning around and going back inside.

Bonnie watches him go, a confused frown on her face. Apparently she has a lot to think about.

-X-

The moment Stefan gets home he pulls out a large bottle of whiskey and plops down on the couch, having decided that facing another night without Bonnie will only be bearable if he's drunk. He's halfway to a drunken stupor when he hears the front door open.

"Stefan?"

He winces at the sound of Elena's voice, scowling when Elena walks into the living room, a glare on her face. "Don't you knock?" He snaps at her, his anger from earlier coming back full force.

Elena ignores his outburst, "I did knock, but you didn't answer." She glances at the nearly empty bottle of whiskey on the coffee table. "Now I see why. Do you really think getting drunk is good idea right now?"

"It's better than thinking about my wife hanging all over her ex."

Elena watches as he folds his arms across his chest and pouts for the lack of a better word. Under better circumstances the sight of Stefan Salvatore pouting would be an amusing display. Right now it's only sad.

"Stefan, you're going about this all wrong." Elena takes a seat next to him on the couch. "You're not going to get Bonnie back acting so noble and letting my jackass brother win."

"I'm trying to respect her wishes. I don't want to come off as a possessive jerk."

"That's admirable, but all you're doing is reinforcing the idea that you only married her because you couldn't have me. We both know that's not true, but Bonnie doesn't remember the last eight years of her life so as far she's concerned the last few years of you two growing closer have never happened."

"I-" He starts to reply only to be interrupted.

"Where's the guy that she fell in love with? The guy who made sure she and everyone around her knew how much he cared? The guy that can't go five minutes without touching her in some way whenever you're in the same room, the guy that can barely have a conversation without mentioning her or showing of his wedding ring." She's lost count of how many times she's seen him show his ring to various strangers.

"Am I really that bad?"

"It's actually kind of disgusting." She grins at him so he knows she's only joking. It was a little weird a first, but now she thinks it's adorable. "But seriously, Stefan if you show her that side of you I can't imagine her not falling for you again."

"Yeah, but that was a Bonnie that no longer had feelings for Jeremy. This Bonnie is madly in love with him." He points out in disgust.

"I don't believe she is." Elena shakes her head. "She's confused and scared and clinging to what's most familiar. So show her just how much things have changed between you. Let her see what it's like when Stefan Salvatore is love with her."

"Maybe you're right," Stefan says after awhile. He thought that giving Bonnie space would allow her time to get used to the idea of them together, but now he's thinking he should have gone in the other direction.

"Of course I'm right."

"You've been with Damon way too long because now you're starting to sound like him." He smiles, amused by her Damon-like statement.

"Just remember what I said," she returns his smile.

Two hours later, Elena is long gone and Stefan has sobered up enough to formulate his plan of winning Bonnie's heart. Though part of him wanted to go see her right away, he came to the conclusion that it would be best to wait until tomorrow to see her. He changes clothes and is just about to lie down on the couch when he hears a knock at the door. He frowns as he looks at his watch, noting how late it is. He makes his way to the front door and pulls it open. His eyes widen when instead of Elena or Damon like he'd been expecting, he sees a nervous Bonnie standing there still wearing the dress from the party.

"Bonnie?"

Bonnie shifts on her feet and lets out a nervous sigh. "Can I come in?"

* * *

**A/N - While this chapter had a lot of Damon and Elena in it, the next one will mostly focus on Stefan trying to win Bonnie over. As well as some glimpses of the relationship they have. This was initially planned as a one shot, so there will only be a few more chapters.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

"Bonnie?" Stefan gapes at his wife standing at the threshold, wearing the dress from the party.

Bonnie shifts on her feet and lets out a nervous sigh. "Can I come in?"

"Of course, this is your home." Stefan steps aside so Bonnie can walk in. Her scent wafts through the air as she walks into the living room and he can tell based on her stance that she's still nervous. "Why I don't I make some tea and then we can talk?"

"Okay," She gives him a grateful smile.

"I'll be right back, but feel free to look around. Maybe seeing looking around will help jog your memory." He smiles before making his way to the kitchen.

After he leaves, she looks around the living room and is surprised when she is filled with sudden sense of belonging. Just seeing how the place is set up makes her feel as though she's meant to be here. Some of it reminds her of the way the boardinghouse looks, but most of it is stuff she would have done herself, making it clear she had some say in how the place was decorated.

She sees several pictures carefully placed on a table in the corner and decides to get a closer look. She's not surprised to see that most of them are of her with Stefan. There are pictures of them on vacation, in places that she's always wanted to visit. She looks up when she hears footsteps and sees Stefan holding a tray containing a teapot and two teacups.

"Do you want to take a seat?" Stefan asks as he places the tray down on the coffee table.

Bonnie nods and quickly sits down on the couch next to Stefan. After getting settled, she lets out a sigh and looks at Stefan."I wanted to apologize for how I've been acting. I've been making decisions based on what happened eight years ago and it's not fair to you."

"It's okay," Stefan squeezes her hand to reassure her.

If possible, Stefan being so understanding about her behavior actually makes her feel worse. "It's not," she shakes her head. "You've been nothing but patient with me and I've been treating you horribly."

"I won't pretend that it didn't hurt, but I know that all of this must seem strange to you." He strokes her hand. "It's only natural that you would be resistant to such a drastic change especially with our history."

"It wasn't just our history." She explains, not wanting Stefan to put the blame on himself. "I've been feeling overwhelmed with the witch stuff and my relationship with Jeremy was the one place I felt like I could be normal… be vulnerable. When I woke up and everything was different it was hard for me to handle. So it was kind of a relief when Jeremy came to see me and was looking at me the same way he was when I last saw him."

"That makes sense and I'm sorry that I was partly responsible for making you feel like you couldn't be vulnerable. I know it's been years for me, but to you it wasn't that long ago."

"Thanks for saying that." She yawns.

"I'm sorry, Bonnie… I didn't realize how late it was," Stefan stands up. "You have to be exhausted. We can talk more tomorrow after you get some sleep."

She starts to protest, but finds herself yawning again. "Maybe you're right," she places her hand into his outstretched one and allows him to guide her up the stairs. She's bit surprised by how right it feels to have her hand in his. Once she gets to the bedroom Stefan lets go of her hand and stands back so she can take everything in.

As she looks around the large bedroom it becomes even clearer that she and Stefan share a life together. Much like downstairs, there are pictures of them together along with stray pieces of clothing (both his and hers), a few books, two grimoires, but it's the bed that captures her attention. This is the bed that they sleep in, the bed that they make love in. She turns around when Stefan starts to speak again.

"If you want to change into something more comfortable most of the stuff you sleep in are stored in the top two drawers," he points to the dresser in the corner of the room.

"Thanks," she smiles.

Stefan happily returns her smile, "You're welcome. I'll be on the couch downstairs if you need me," he heads for the door before turning around to look at Bonnie one last time. "Good night, Bonnie."

"Good night, Stefan."

The moment he leaves, Bonnie heads over to the dresser and immediately starts looking through the drawers Stefan pointed out. She sees some nightgowns, pajama pants; several tank tops, and what looks to some of Stefan's shirts and sweatpants.

In the end she puts on the sweat pants and t shirt because they look the warmest. As she climbs into the bed, Bonnie is surprised by how relaxed and safe she already feels. She ignores the voice deep down that says she would feel even better if Stefan were lying next to her.

-X-

The next morning Bonnie sits at the desk in the office that she and Stefan apparently share. When she woke up this morning, she had been a bit bored so she decided to look around and quickly found the office that was across the hall from the bedroom. For the most part the office set the same way the office in her childhood home is set up, but one thing that is different is the small pile of journals stacked on shelf.

She remembers that Stefan liked to keep journals so it makes sense that he would still do that, but she also remembers Elena saying that he kept them locked in a large chest. So she has to wonder why he has them out in the open.

"I have breakfast ready if you want to eat."

She looks up and smiles when she sees Stefan standing in the doorway holding a tray of food containing pancakes, bacon, eggs, and a glass of orange juice. Unlike yesterday he's dressed casually, reminding her bit of the old Stefan. "Good morning," she greets him.

"Good morning," his smile widens and he smiles when he sees Bonnie struggling not to blush. "I made all of your favorites," he places the food in front of her.

"Wow, this is so good," She says as she stuffs her mouth with a pancake. She's so focused on her food she doesn't notice the way Stefan's face lights up at her compliment.

Twenty minutes later, her belly is full and she's wondering where Stefan learned to cook that way when Stefan suddenly speaks again.

"You should read them."

"Read what?" she frowns not sure what he's talking about.

"The journals, I saw you looking at them when I came in."

She shakes her head, "These are your private thoughts…I couldn't do that."

"Actually I gave them to you as a gift for our first wedding anniversary. I wanted you to know just how much you mean to me. They're yours so you can read them whenever you want."

She sees at least ten journals lined up. She knows that he's been writing for years so she has to wonder what stretch of time this is.

"Those particular journals begin at the day we first officially met ten years ago until a little after our honeymoon." He answers her unasked question.

"No offense, but I don't think I want to read about your big love for Elena." She frowns when Stefan starts to chuckle. "What's so funny?"

"It's just...you said the exact same thing when I first gave them to you." He smiles as the memory fills his mind. "Anyway I knew that even then …which is why I made a point of bookmarking the entries that pertained to you."

Relieved, she picks up the first journal in the bunch and immediately finds the first entry.

_October 4, 2009_

_I met Elena's friend Bonnie today. She's beautiful and is clearly a good friend, but I could tell when we touched that she saw something in me that frightened her. She is a Bennett witch so it makes sense that she would be wary of me. I'm disappointed because I would like to get to know her, but I suppose that means I will just have to try harder to be her friend._

Bonnie remembers that day very well. Before then she had been completely taken in by Stefan. Part of her had wanted him for herself, but when it became clear he was into Elena, she decided to be a good friend and help them get to know each other. She made a point of giving Stefan Elena's number, but when their fingers touched, she felt something that made her wary of him. At the time she hadn't known what it was, but now she knows that she felt death. She's gotten used to that feeling so it doesn't really bother her now, but she does remember that it changed the way she looked at him at the time.

_October 12, 2009_

_I had dinner with Elena and Bonnie today in hopes of softening Bonnie's unease. I tried to bond with her by bringing up the Salem witches, but I'm not so sure it worked. I know she has every right to be cautious of me. I haven't always been the most trustworthy guy, but I really do hope that someday she will trust me enough to let me in._

She remembers that night and it did make her feel a little better about Stefan. Obviously it hadn't erased everything, but it was the first time she got to see that charming side of him. She flips through the journal until she finds the next highlighted entry.

_October 20, 2009_

_Today I helped Bonnie when she was having trouble with her powers. She's going to be a very powerful witch someday if what I saw of her today was any indication. Already I'm seeing things that make me think she'll be even more powerful than Emily and Sheila combined. I'm not sure whether or not I'm proud or terrified of that particular thought._

A smile appears on her face, slightly touched that he seemed to believe in her even then. She reads through a couple of more entries before picking up another journal. A few flips through it and it's easy to see that the entries were written years after the journal she was just looking through.

_May 23, 2015_

_Not much happened tonight. We defeated yet another enemy. The only upside was seeing Bonnie. She looked amazing tonight. She was as beautiful as ever, but I think what had the most impact on me was seeing how powerful she is. I've always known that she was a force to be reckoned with, but seeing her in her element was humbling, inspiring, and not to mention a turn on. There is something to be said about a woman that can bring several vampires to her knees with one look. I am very happy to write that for once I was not the recipient._

_November 6, 2015_

_There's no doubting it any more. I'm in love with Bonnie. I've been fighting it for months, but now I'm certain that it's more than a crush. I love everything about this woman. Her insights, her hobbies… I could listen to her talk all day and never grow tired of hearing her voice. I've always been aware of her beauty, but now when I look at her I find myself in awe. Whenever she smiles it's as though my entire world has been brightened and when I look into her eyes I can't help but get lost in them. _

_Tonight we went bowling, her and Damon (I'm still a little surprised by their friendship) against me and Elena. Normally Damon and I battling over anything would bring out my competitive side, but tonight I found myself actually wanting him to win. Even if it meant I had to listen to his bragging, I would happily lose a hundred games just to see Bonnie happy._

Bonnie stares down at the page, surprised by the confession of love written down on paper. Before she could rationalize hearing Stefan say he loves her, but actually seeing it written down in Stefan's journals. The same journals that he's been writing in for over a hundred years is a somewhat overwhelming. She stiffens when she looks up she sees Stefan standing in the doorway staring at her. "You're staring."

"I am." He agrees with a nod.

It's only a look, but Bonnie is still filled with awareness. She can feel the love he has for her, the attraction he has, and she has to admit that it's very overwhelming. Flustered, Bonnie asks, "Do you really find me that interesting?"

"I could look at you all day and never grow bored," He says earnestly, reminding her of what he wrote in his journal before he continues speaking again. "but I can sense that you are kind of overwhelmed right now and need some time alone so I'm going to hang out with Damon. I'll see you in a little while." He smiles at her one more time as he leaves the room. She listens for his footsteps as he rushes down the stairs and the sound of the front door closing before turning back to the journal.

For the next couple of hours she continues to look through the journals, stopping when she gets to certain relationship milestones. She swoons when he describes their first kiss, blushes as she reads about the first time they made love, feels excitement when she reads about his marriage proposal. Yet it's the way he writes about their wedding that has her practically falling in love with him.

_ "May 8, 2018_

_I'm a married man. The vampire that was once called the ripper is someone's husband and I couldn't be happier. Bonnie is asleep right now so I thought this would be the best time to write down my thoughts. The wedding was amazing, seeing her in that dress for the first time is something I will never forget. She was breathtaking and as she was walking toward me I felt my heart pounding. I was so excited and eager to become her husband that I'm a little surprised I actually made through the ceremony without embarrassing myself. The reception was just as amazing, we danced and when I held her in my arms I felt at peace. We had a lot of fun, but I know Elena and Caroline were ready to kill us for disappearing in the middle of it. I can't say I regret it because I needed to be alone with Bonnie and my wife apparently felt the same way. After being turned into a vampire marriage was something I assumed would never happen for me, but, that all changed once I fell in love with her. I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with the woman of my dreams and I am so grateful she feels the same way._

The door opens and closes downstairs and it's obvious that Stefan's back from speaking with Damon. Bonnie however doesn't move, too engrossed in her reading to put the journal down. Instead she flips to the next entry and is surprised when it skips several days.

_May 19, 2018_

_I know I haven't written in here in more than a week, not something that's typical of me, but I've just been so happy with Bonnie that I haven't had the time. We're still on our honeymoon. It's amazing how_

Bonnie looks up at Stefan just as he makes his way inside the room and gives him a questioning look.

"What's wrong?" Stefan asks, slightly worried. After spending some time with Damon, he returned to the loft and realized right away that Bonnie had never moved from the spot she'd been in before he left.

"Nothing, it's just … this journal entry…you stopped mid sentence."

He glances down at his journal and smiles goofily when he sees the date of the entry. "Oh, you kind of distracted me." His demeanor indicates just how she distracted him. "We spent the rest of our honeymoon occupied."

Bonnie looks away as heat starts to fill her cheeks. She is unable to stop images of her and Stefan together from flooding her mind. It's definitely time for a subject change, "So that was the last entry."

Stefan smirks a little, happy to see the blush on his wife's face. "Yeah I've kind of slacked off a little. I've just been so happy that the journal has been the last thing on my mind." He clears his throat. "So…I know you must be hungry. Why don't I take you to lunch? To one of our favorite places?"

Almost on cue her stomach growls loudly and she glances down at it before looking up. "Well I guess you know my answer." She jokes, feeling a flood of warmth when Stefan laughs. Spending some time with him is probably a good idea. Not just because it might help her memories return, but also because it could serve as a way of getting to know the Stefan she apparently fell in love with.

-X-

**Two weeks later**

Bonnie groans painfully as another unbearable wave of arousal fills her body. It's been this way since she woke up a half hour ago. At first she assumed that it was just because of the amount of time she's been spending with Stefan lately. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't attracted to this Stefan. He's funny, sweet, charming, not to mention that muscular body and chiseled face.

So of course this isn't the first time she's felt arousal, but what she's feeling right now is almost painful. It feels as though she could crawl out of her skin and when she tried to take care of it herself, it made things worse. She stiffens when the door opens and Stefan walks into the room, groaning when she gets a look at the vampire. Her pussy clenches as she takes in his towel-clad frame. It's obvious from his slightly damp hair that he just got out of the shower.

"What's wrong?" She asks when she sees the slightly troubled look on his face.

"I think I should be asking you that question," he gives her a pointed look.

"You know?" Bonnie flushes in embarrassment.

He nods "I can always smell you. I can always tell when you're aroused just like you usually always know when I'm aroused. But this…this is different," he frowns sadly.

"I don't understand …why is this so different?"

"What you're feeling right now is some kind of side-effect from after your resurrection. I guess you could call it a heat cycle because your body becomes overwhelmed with a need to mate."

"But …why?" She struggles to get the question out.

"We're not sure why it happens. I just know that every month like clockwork you get aroused like you are now and feel overwhelmed with need to find relief. He pauses as he thinks about his next words.

"What is it?" she sits up after sensing the tension coming from him.

"You obviously don't have to this is if you don't want to…. but I can take the edge off for you. Make it easier for you to deal with this."

Just the thought of him siding inside of her right now has her growing wetter and more aroused, but she knows that she isn't ready to cross that threshold yet. Especially when they haven't even shared a kiss at this point. "I don't think us having sex would be a good idea," she says, ignoring her body's protests.

"I know," he nods before grinning slyly "but there are other ways to give you relief. I can get you off using only my mouth."

Those words send even more pleasure to her nerve endings and she decides to take him up on the offer. "I want you to help me."

"Are you sure?" he asks just to be certain.

"Yes," she says despite the nervousness she suddenly feels at the idea of him seeing her naked.

"Okay," he nods and unknots his towel. It falls to the ground, leaving him completely naked.

Bonnie gasps in surprise and blushes at the sight of his impressive body. She's seen him in only a towel quite a few times in the last couple of weeks, but nothing could prepare her for this.

"I figured you'd be more comfortable if you weren't the only exposed one." He shrugs and Bonnie finds herself warmed by his consideration.

"Just lie back and relax," Stefan says quietly as he climbs onto the bed.

She watches with wide eyes as Stefan drags her panties down her legs and tosses them behind him before kneeling between them. She thinks he's going to dive right in, but he doesn't. Instead he runs his hands up her bare legs. It feels amazing.

He lifts her night gown up slightly and scoots up to press a kiss to her stomach. He moves his mouth across the corded muscles there before moving lower to dip his tongue into her bellybutton.

After a few more swirls of his tongue, Stefan looks up and is not surprised to find Bonnie watching him intently. He smiles softly before sliding his hands between her legs and uses his thumbs to open her up. She smells heavenly like she always does.

Bonnie shivers in pleasure at the growl that escapes his lips when he inhales her scent. She always figured the sound of a vampire growling would frighten her, but it or at least Stefan's growling actually turns her on. She waits anxiously for him to lower his mouth to her and finally after what seems like a lifetime he does, licking along her slit before flicking at her clit.

"St-Stefan!" She moans as he laps at her folds. Part of her can't believe that this is actually happening. That Stefan's head is between her legs while he pleasures her with his mouth. If she's honest, it's something she's fanaticized about when she first met him, so to have it actually happen is kind of mind blowing.

"Mmmh," Stefan groans as he tastes her. He loves pleasuring Bonnie like this. He was in heaven the first time he did this and it's no different this time. His erection is painfully hard, but he ignores it. This is about giving Bonnie what she needs. He focuses on her clit, wrapping his tongue around it until it hardens.

Bonnie writhes and moans as he his tongue thrusts in and out of her, pulling more and more arousal from her body. He repeats this several times until she feels her body tense and she spirals into an intense orgasm. She floods him with her come and she's surprised as well as turned on when Stefan starts gobble it up the way she's seen him drink blood.

Once he's licked up the last of her come Stefan pulls back and immediately seeks out Bonnie's eyes.

Bonnie's eyes slowly open and her womb clenches when she sees Stefan wipe some her arousal from his face. This isn't the first time she's had a guy's mouth on her, but it is the first time it's happened she actually believes the guy actually enjoyed doing it. Usually they are expecting her to reciprocate.

"Are you feeling more relaxed now?" Stefan asks once she's fully aware.

"Yeah…thank you," She lets out a satisfied sigh, happy that her overpowering arousal from earlier has faded. She's still aroused of course, but it's manageable now.

"You don't have to thank me. I only did what I enjoy." He gently caresses her cheek with two of his fingers before he climbs out of bed.

"Wait!" Bonnie stops him when she realizes that he plans on leaving the room. "What about you?" Bonnie blushes as she glances down at his erect penis.

"I'll deal with it alone," he says with a shrug. "Like I said before this was for you. Besides we both know you're not ready for us to go any further and I respect that."

Bonnie watches as he picks up his towel and rewraps it around his waist before leaving the room. The moment he's gone, she collapses back on the bed and covers her face with her hands as she thinks about what just happened.

A naked and aroused Stefan Salvatore just gave her orgasm using his mouth and it was the most intense thing she has ever felt. Even now her body is trembling with aftershocks. The fact that Stefan gave her the orgasm without expecting her to reciprocate makes her want more; so much that there is a part of her that wants to tell him that she changed her mind about them having sex.

Yet she knows that he would still refuse because he's made a point of taking things slow for her sake. He's been very patient and understanding about their situation and while her head is thankful, her body is wishing that he wasn't so noble.


End file.
